This is going to be extremely hard for me to write… So I apologize if it’s not my normal sarcastic or funny type of personality because let’s be honest, the situation isn’t funny. It’s not something that should be taking light-heartedly or something it should be ignored.
For the last year, I have been in a domestic violence situation my husband. I’ve had my wrist broken many cuts and bruises and a severely Broken Heart.
My husband is an amazing guy… Or he was before he was diagnosed as bipolar. We had a great life, he had a great job and we took lots of weekend vacations as a family. Just him walking in the room would make me so happy. I would do anything to have those days back. The violence towards me was worse when he was on his med’s but it wasn’t as frequently. When he got off of his meds he literally didn’t care about anyone or anything including me including my son and sometimes including his own children. Will he ever say that? No. He won’t. But being there first hand to witness the relationship between him and everyone else in his life it was a clear marked difference in his personality. My Breaking Point came a couple days ago. One of my step kids approached me and said that they needed me to hear them out before saying anything. Immediately I got a little nervous but agreed to it of course. That conversation rocked my world and it all came tumbling down.
I have severe medical issues and I’m in the hospital quite a bit. What I didn’t know was that when I wasn’t home my husband had been beating on my child. Let’s just say this didn’t go over well with me. I also found out that my husband had been violent with at least one out of his two ex-wives.
Immediately I talk to my the kids and they all confirmed that what I had been told was true. My poor kid was so afraid to tell me because he thought he would get in trouble. I proceeded to cry it’s terrible and just tell him that I love him.
Now I am left to wonder… If he hadn’t have stopped taking his meds comma what everything still happen this way? To everyone else he’s such a gentle giant no one’s ever going to believe me. The only thing I have are pictures. Maybe if I’d spoken up before when it first started more people would understand and more people would know what really happened. Maybe I would have more people there to support me. I chose not to say anything to protect my husband’s reputation and because of that I may ruin my own.
Honestly I’m okay with that. I just want people to know that sometimes if your friend or family member doesn’t seem to be acting right… Talk to them. Be there for them and let them know they can trust you.
So you may be wondering if I plan on working it out with my husband. No I don’t. I told him I only condition would be that he go to anger management and counseling but to be honest I don’t think that’s going to happen either.
If you take anything from this post… take from it to always trust your instincts and never let someone get away with hurting you. In my case it was physical, mental, and verbal abuse. How many people have gotten it so much worse but no matter how bad it is… Abuse is abuse and it should not be tolerated under any circumstances. I’m not going to pretend to be an angel in this situation… There were many times and that as he screamed nasty things to me I screamed nasty things back. Do I regret it? Yes… Because I should have just left.
I know that I’m going to lose a few friends over this because it’s going to be assumed that I’m lying because my husband would never do anything like that… But honestly if I can make one person rethink the relationship that they’re in then maybe it’s worth it.